Opting Out Not an Option

How many women do you know who have opted out of the work force to raise their kids? I look around and what I'm reading doesn't reflect my experience, or that of my friends. But hey, I figured, maybe it's just me.

These "opt-out" stories are crying out that women are overworked, prefer to care for children, and if they do focus on career, should throw in the towel because success turns men off. Right? Wrong.

All these stories, says media critic Caryl Rivers, were based on scant evidence, or a minority of survey respondents. But these fake trends sell papers, and so newspapers promote them.

How did I feel after hearing Rivers talk, at Women, Action and the Media conference? First, a huge sense of relief. Followed by an enormous surge of rage.

Check out Rivers’ book for a complete list of inaccuracies, an up-to-date Backlash, called Same Difference . Men are not from Mars, women aren’t from Venus. In fact, we may even be from the same planet.

As my hero Betty Freidan pointed out years ago, the 50s weren’t as good as they looked. 50s housewives suffered such high rates of depression that marriage was called by some a “health hazard.”

72% of women are in the workforce. 78% of mothers are working. In short: There is no opt-out revolution. But I do find the fascination with it revolting.