Adopting a New Outlook

When I was about 12 years old, my best summer friend asked me in passing how many kids I wanted when I grew up. I told her I didn't want kids. "Mom!" She yelled, like I had just stolen out of her wallet, "Claudine doesn't want kids!"

It's funny how people get so affronted at this. And at 12 I was just so sure. Now I'm less sure, but at pushing 40, some things have a way of working themselves out. My friend who was so appalled at 12 that I didn't want kids, doesn't have them either. But she's trying to change that through an international adoption in Kenya. All it takes is a lawyer in the U.S. and one there. The embassy. Massive amounts of paperwork, a willing orphanage and massive amounts of money. And then, the odds are still not all in her favor.

I like the idea of adoption. But international adoption makes me queasy, not least because of the stars who have popularized it recently. And like any fast-growing business, one that markets in people can attract some unsavory characters. If you think you know about adoption, or want to know more, this brutally honest account of one adoptive family in Mother Jones, "Did I Steal My Daughter?" jumps right into the issues that anyone of good intent but uneasy conscience must undoubtedly feel when wading into the uncertain waters of international adoption: is it a good deed or a risky venture with someone's messy life.