Inconceivable

Maybe the Octomom's lust for the spotlight will actually result in shining light where one is needed: reining in fertility clinics (and their egg-happy clients).

According to a story in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, fewer than 20% of U.S. clinics follow professional guidelines on embryo implantation for younger women.

As the author of "Everything Conceivable" told Terry Gross on Fresh Air today, the uterus is designed to be single occupancy only, and multiple births invariably lead to multiple deaths. What could stem the madness? For one, having these procedures covered by health insurance, which would then mandate the number of embryos that could be implanted. 

This is one case where buying in bulk is not a good idea, short term or long term. 

Baby Steps

I've been thinking a lot about the Octo-mom lately -- Nadya Suleman, who made horror-freak-show news when she gave birth to octuplets. Then the really bad news started to come out: she had no job, 6 other kids -- and may lose her house. And the kicker -- all 14 births were made possible by a Beverly Hills infertility clinic. This coupled with a story in the New York Times about links between IVF and certain birth defects made me think again about the fertility industry. 

There is basically no regulation of the fertility industry, whose services aren't covered by health insurance, either. The treatments are expensive, causing women to ask their docs to implant them with multiple eggs for the chance that one, or OK, two or three, of the fertilized eggs could turn into that dream baby their body does not want to have on its own. 

Our culture is oddball. It pressures women to have babies, then recoils when they have too many, or not enough cash (Angelina Jolie with a truckload of kids is cute. Welfare moms with same: decidedly not). Or they do it in a way that is medically possible but ethically questionable. 

So then the question is, who is going to start making some of these hard choices? Given the change in administration to a pro-science agenda, my vote is regulation. And fast. With older parents the norm, IVF a standard procedure and multiple births adding to the burden of our hospitals and health systems, and certainly our schools, we need to start paying more attention. And not just the horrified kind. 

I'm Just Not Into That Movie

It stands to reason that when a movie is about to come out, the best clips are selected for the previews. If that's the case, then the movie "He's Just Not That Into You"  is a flat-out embarrassment to the genre, to women, and in fact, to human relationships. You can waste your time watching the coming attractions.

But if it saves you the time watching the movie, then consider it an efficiency. In the previews, the sexiest woman in cinema, Scarlett Johansson, pines for a married man that is so beneath her it's laughable. Drew Barrymore is moused down to look pathetic and yearning. And Jennifer Aniston can't get Ben Affleck to marry her. OK, in what world does Hollywood live in? Maybe these stars took these roles to stretch their acting abilities (I'm sure it's hard to for any of them to imagine that they can't get a date). But why take my word for it? See for yourself. Then don't go see this movie.

Deja Vu All Over Again

I know that I should still be feeling the glow of hope and change, and Obama has already done more for women (passing the Lilly Ledbetter Fair Pay Act) and children (signing SCHIP into law) in a few short weeks than Bush did in 8 years.

Reversing the global gag rule (allowing funds to international family planning organizations that promote or perform abortions) was yet another stake in the ground to differentiate the Obama years from the Bush years. But this victory feels hollow. After all, the funds get reinstated or stopped depending on which party is in office. If we really want to make change, let's change minds about women's rights overseas. Hillary, I'm looking at you. 

Wax Away

I've really had it with Bush. I can't stand one more minute while he waxes on about how he's kept the nation safe -- what, did his presidency start on 9/12/01? 

And his disappointments -- that there were no WMDs in Iraq. That's not a disappointment, that's a wrongful war. And what about Enron, Katrina, my civil rights.

Well, there is someone who understands. Bliss Spa sent out a special offer for all the women who want to be rid of their Bush. As they put it: "Say farewell to Bush. . . special 'presidential transitional' savings of 20%." 

With the sad economy, savings for removal of any kind are appreciated.

I'll be glad when the Bush is gone down there, and in D.C.

I Am Woman. See Me Naked

She was first spotted on the Web. Then I saw her peeking out behind the comparatively chaste women's magazines on newsstands. She's so almost-bare that my husband was too embarrassed to buy a copy of the magazine with other women present.

But I want to buy 100 copies and paper my room with them. Make it my new screen saver. Text the image to all my friends. Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ is unabashed, naked except for a tie and strategically placed index fingers. She looks sexy, brash, and incredibly toned. She looks good. She looks very, very good. But that's not the best part.  She's thirty-freaking-nine. My age. The age of many of my friends, who also look good. 

If we send up a time capsule to Mars, I want that image in it. I want aliens to understand how good we can look at 39. Other life forms need to know.

Maybe Aniston did it for publicity or to remind Brad for the umpteenth time what he gave up to take on all those kids and the biggest ego this side of the equator. In short, I don't think this jaw-dropping cover was done with altruism in mind. But just look at her. Yes, I know that photo retouching is kind. But still. 

She looks free, happy, and maybe most important, very unencumbered. I want to shout it from the rooftops. She is me! She is 39 for all of us.

She's Back, Baby!

Looks like another up side to getting Hillary Clinton into Obama's "team of rivals" is it brought back postpartum Amy Poehler to play her on  "SNL." Maybe there is humor to be found in an Obama administration. After all, it's a thrill to see Hill at State. But that does not mean that for every woman, he gets to pick a jerky man. I'm filled with ire over the pick of Larry Summers in a confirmation-free appointment, giving the ousted Harvard prez a second chance at showing he's not a total sexist pig, only an arrogant jerk. Obama, you've got some 'splaining to do.

Black Is the New Black
There is a new game in town. All it took to restore Democrats to government was two wars, a failed economy and a sitting president with one of the worst approval ratings in history. Not to mention opting out of public campaign financing in order to spend zillions to win.

But he did it. Obama is a presidential prodigy. Noone ever had a chance against his oratory, his organization and his inspiration. Here we are in 2008, where women finally came out to vote after only getting the vote in 1920 and the fight for Civil Rights movement is a recent memory that Obama harkened back to in the cadences of his speech. It's a new day.

Campaign Accessories

Looks like Caribou Barbie has got the wardrobe to go with the name. In a move that only those of us outside "real America" could appreciate, the McCain campaign dropped some serious cash on their shiny Sarah star -- 150,000 large -- to outfit McCain's campaign accessory with some clothes and accessories of her own, from Neiman's, Barney's, and Saks Fifth Avenue. Wal-mart it's not.

The timing of the purchases, in early September, weren't reported till this month, so that the hockey mom had some time to burnish her blue collar, working girl image, takin' the "g" off her words, and showin' how she walked in the shoes of small-town Americans. Except her shoes are Manolo Blahniks. Joke's on you, Joe six pack!

This latest campaign fiasco, which has managed to enrage the left and the right, isn't going to help Palin's approval ratings, which are already sinking faster than an ice floe in the North Pole. Cost of overpriced campaign wardrobe: $150,000. Cost of losing the election: priceless.

Waxing On

You know an election is getting serious when you're in the beauty salon, and instead of the latest celeb gossip, your esthetician wants the political dirt.

The woman waxing me, Erin, who I've known for years, heated up the hot wax and then got heated. "I haven't seen the debates and I only wanted to ask you how they went," she said. Emphasis on you, which is me. She continued that another client, who was pro-McCain, had made herself ugly, despite Erin's best efforts, with her mean-spirited -- and misinformed -- comments about Obama's proposed tax policy.

"She's wrong." I said.

"I knew it!" said Erin. Then riiiiiip with the wax strip.

"He'll only -- ouch -- raises taxes on people who make over $250,000 a year." Which, really, is a lot less painful that what I was undergoing at the moment.

"Right," said Erin. Riiiiiip. "That's not what this client told me. I knew she was wrong." Riiiiiip.

Erin and I had both been Hillary supporters. But now we were both pulling for Obama, big time. 

The client had accused Erin of not knowing her facts, then stormed off when Erin questioned hers.

"I try to stay out of talking politics with people, but she just kept on coming at me," Erin said. Riiiiiip.

Fact is, what works for Erin's client won't work for the country. Unless, of course, we all want to get waxed. Where I'm standing, that wouldn't be such a bad idea.

He Said, She Said

Okay, Joe Biden: I have words for you. Here's a line to use in the only VP debate in the election season that's tonight:

I know Hillary Clinton. I'm friends with Hillary Clinton. Sarah Palin, you're no Hillary Clinton.

That one's on the house.

The Republican Convention. Sponsored by Amnesia

When conveniently forgetting is just the ticket for the Republican ticket.

To recap, John McCain's number two is a virulently anti-choice "woman" whose 17-year-old daughter, we've learned, is pregnant and "made the decision" to keep the pregnancy. What's another word for that? Samantha Bee from the Daily Show hit the floor at the Republican Convention to see if anyone could spit it out.

Chicks Coming Home to Roost
Don't you love it when the Republicans decide that an issue like a girl's pregnancy, who happens to be the teenage daughter of the V.P. candidate, is a private issue?

OK, fine. The family's off limits. Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Sarah Palin, the Republican V.P. nominee, is pregnant, and intends to have the baby and marry the father. That we know. But if that's not our business (even though conservatives feel just fine about telling women what to do with their bodies, and their lives), let's focus on the policy of these hypocrites, sorry, candidates.

According to Salon.com, Sarah Palin stood against any funding for sex ed in Alaska. (How'd that work out?)

John McCain has never really been able to discuss the issue of sex, STDs, AIDS or pregnancy without squirming or seeming completely uneducated on the topic. According to the same story:

In 2006, McCain joined fellow Republicans in voting against a Senate Democratic proposal to send $100 million to communities for teen-pregnancy prevention programs that would have included sex education about contraceptives.

In 2005, McCain opposed a Senate Democratic proposal that would have spent tens of millions of dollars to pay for pregnancy prevention programs other than abstinence-only education, including education on emergency contraception such as the morning-after pill. The bill also would have required insurance companies that cover Viagra to also pay for prescription contraception.

Sure, it's a private matter. But when your private beliefs affect all pregnant teens, it's all of our business.

His Right to Choose

Hey, Obama, I just want you to know: about your veep pick, no hard feelings. It's not who I would have gone for. That Biden has a big mouth and it gets him into trouble. He has criticized you in the past -- but clearly you can let bygones...and it must feel good to have the guy who's used to running the roost in the Senate now eating out of your hand. I get it. And in the end, it's your choice. You're the one who's got to live with it.

But you know what, I've got to live with it, too. And not just me. America's got to live with it. So keep your boy in line and make sure he gets the job done.

Point is, nobody's perfect. Not even you. Can't make everyone happy, but you will if you win.

So get out there and win this thing.

Clinton: Veep Nuclear Option

It's not just me who thinks this, and it's not just 'coz I supported HRC in the primary. She can do what no white man can do to the Obama ticket as number two -- add more excitement. This race is no slam dunk. The country is divided as ever. Despite Obama's amazing ability  in bringing out the young, new voters, it's not enough to win him a clear majority. He needs his veep to do more than add gravitas, he needs some magic.

As described on Yahoo! News in running through a Clinton "dream ticket" scenario:

If Obama takes the stage in front of the Old State Capital in Springfield, Illinois, Saturday with Evan Bayh at his side, it will be news -- but not very exciting news. If he does so with Joe Biden, it will be bigger new -- but it's not like Biden brings the "wow" factor.

If Obama takes the stage with Clinton at his side, it will be the dominant news story of the weekend, the convention and perhaps of the fall campaign.

'Nuf said.

A Demographic Shift

Finally, my demographic is being recognized (or should I clarify, my almost-demographic):

Twenty percent of women in the age range of 40-44 are having fewer or no kids compared to 30 years ago, according to the latest study by the Census Bureau.

As reported by the New York Times:

"Clearly women have competing alternatives for the use of their time, with the labor market and employment being one and delayed marriage, which has been another trend,” said Suzanne Bianchi, chairwoman of the sociology department at the University of Maryland. “The interesting question is, has it stopped? Is this it, or will we see even higher rates of childlessness among future generations?”

In economically under-developed nations, the logic has always been to improve the lot of women, and the birth rate goes down. I guess here in the U.S. we can consider the lot of women, at least for this age group, improved.

Obama -- Pick One for the Dames

Sen. Obama, I just can't take it. All these news reports that the top VP picks are a slot of liberal, white men. Safeties. Make the white guys in the middle of the country happy, because, for sure those guys would go for you over a really white candidate.

Seriously. Did you get where you are by being safe?

If that's the case, then you should go for the truly safe choice. Pick Hillary.

Why? First, Clinton got almost as many votes as you did. She got the bitter vote (and with her not on your ticket, instead of facing bitter white men, you're facing bitter white women -- one would argue much worse for you), she's the top pick of VP choices in the polls, and frankly, she'd be great.

I want to wake up tomorrow with a text message from you -- the candidate of tomorrow -- telling me that you've made a choice that's smart today.

Here's to hoping.

Take Your "Staycation" with B-Side

Dog days of summer got you down? Then tune in and cheer up -- the new B-Side edition is here.

Click to B-Side for your latest dose of summer fun without ever leaving the house or gassing up. Here's the best part: This latest B-Side won't even leave you with lack-of-time-off rage, 'coz it's all about vacations that didn't quite live up to the hype. Enjoy.

When the Personal Is Just Sleazy

It's always hard to get our lessons from "The National Enquirer." But their dogged reporting seems to be really good at bringing down good liberal men -- Gary Hart's "monkey business," Bill Clinton's Gennifer Flowers imbroglio, and now John Edwards with his outed affair. For John Edwards, whose political career had been careening downwards since he helped Kerry lose the presidency in '04, this just seems a tawdry footnote to a candidate who came across to me as rather a too-smooth operator. 

Sure, lots of people have affairs, and to judge his is an all-too American -- and rather boring -- pursuit. It really doesn't help his case that the guy presented himself as a family man and a self-less (sort of) hero continuing on with his losing presidential bid by the side of his wife who is struggling with her battle with cancer. 

But when the story of their  lives becomes the blueprint for which the American people get asked to vote on, then, well, it is fair game -- in an unfair, "National Enquirer" world.

Feeling the Economic Pinch -- Also Women's Work

If the economy seems to be getting you down, you're not alone. It's bad for sisters all over. At least according to one recent poll, women are way more likely than men to worry about meeting their financial goals over the next five years. Gives depression a whole new meaning.